While You Were Sleeping
by Celeste.J.Evans
Summary: AU. Tony is in a coma and Ziva comes to visit. Often. In a universe where Ziva never left.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One of my AU series. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow.**

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She gripped his fingers tighter, hyper-aware of the cold flesh between her palms. The unmoving muscles that she yearned to see twitching to life. Even as she ran her thumb over the back of his hand, she received no response. His skin was so dry. She would have to remember to bring hand cream for him. Was she even allowed to bring hand cream into a hospital?

She tried to take a steadying breath, but it came in raggedly, filling her belly again and again, making her more and more light-headed. She had to focus; focus on something—anything. There was only one sound. The steady beeping was a constant reminder of the man lying before her, pale and unmoving.

She wanted to speak—they told her to speak to him—but her throat was dry and raw, as if she had been crying or screaming for days. Even when she closed her eyes and pushed words to the surface, they were quiet and breathy.

"Tony," she cleared her throat again "you missed work again. You did not miss much, though. We caught a case early this morning, but it was not very interesting. A Marine Sergeant was found bludgeoned to death in his living room. Ducky determined that a golf club was used, so McGee and I searched for the murder weapon. We found his wife in the kitchen, sitting on a stool, drinking a glass of bourbon, with the golf club at her side." She released a breath of laughter. "Apparently, she found out that he was cheating on her while he was overseas. She turned herself in." She thought for a moment before saying, "I can understand the urge to get revenge, but I would not have been so forthcoming about his death. If a man ever cheated on me, they would not find the body." She fell silent, watching his face for any sign of life. His skin was so pale, the muscles of his face relaxed and unchanging. Her lip quivered as she looked over his face, struggling to blink away all emotions. "I know you would have laughed at that." It didn't work; she couldn't hold back. All she saw was him, still and pale, lying in this hospital bed and it broke her heart to think of it: her partner—her best friend—so…weak. With a shaky breath she made a desperate plea. "Please laugh, Tony."

The steady beeping responded.

"Miss David?"

She sniffled in surprise at the sudden presence in the room, but didn't turn around. It was just another nurse, like all the others who'd passed through here, checking on the monitors and clearing away the mess from the day. So mechanical, so cold.

"Visiting hours are nearly over."

She was gone before Ziva could mumble a 'thank you' over her shoulder, her eyes never leaving Tony. She stared at him a moment longer before sighing. This still felt so surreal and she couldn't shake the desire that this was all a cruel prank. She wouldn't put it past the man to put her through hell for the sake of a joke. Actually, that was a lie. Tony didn't do things when he knew they would hurt her.

"Please let this be a joke," she quietly pleaded. With a quick squeeze of his hand to gather her courage, she plastered a gentle smile on her face. "I'll be by tomorrow. You better be awake next time I see you. You're lousy company like this." Still no response. She sighed as she stood. "Good night, Tony." Her hand was the last to leave his, unconsciously clinging to him.

In the doorway, she met the doctor, prompting her to ask the most ridiculous question she'd ever spoken: "How is he?" She chided herself for daring to ask. Of course she knew how he was; she'd just spent the last two hours holding his hand, subtly checking his pulse and praying that there would be a change in his condition.

"He's still stable but there's been no improvement. He still has severe brain damage."

"That's from before," she snorted.

The doctor stared back at her, unblinking. "Miss David, if Mr. DiNozzo has suffered any previous major injuries you need to tell me." His scolding tone suggested that he wasn't joking and she choked on air in an effort not to laugh at his stern expression.

"I was merely making a joke, doctor, I apologize." She tried to sound professional and honest but she was biting her lip—hard—to keep from smiling. Tony would have loved to hate this man just because it would be so easy to mess with him. Thoughts of her partner lying in bed, alone, unchanging, brought her crashing back to reality. "You were saying, doctor?"

The man glared at her for a moment before continuing, his bushy eyebrows covering most of his eyes. _How does he even see where he's going_? she could hear Tony's voice in her head and she struggled to quiet him. The last thing she needed was to be constantly distracted at work by a mini-Tony sitting on her shoulder, making dirty jokes and reminding her why he wasn't there in person.

"As I was saying, there is severe brain damage, but in the state he's in, his body is healing well. I'm hopeful that he'll make a full recovery in time."

"When?" Dear god, she sounded so desperate.

"I really can't say, Miss David. Now if you'll excuse me." And another staff member was gone without another word. Everything moved so quickly around her, as if the world slowed around her to prolong her personal suffering.

She looked back at Tony, watched the doctor and his nurse check his vital information. He looked so small in that bed, so pale against the white sheets. Even with the doctor giving the information to her face, she could scarcely believe what was happening. She suddenly felt the overwhelming need to be anywhere but inside this hospital, her head spinning with the desire, strong and pulling.

With one last look at her partner, she left the room, bringing the echoes of steady beeping with her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two as promised. Thank you to everyone who favourited, and followed, and reviewed. It just made my day.**

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"I spent the entire day avoiding McGee," she announced.

As promised, Ziva returned to Tony's bedside the next day. But Tony broke his promise and continued to sleep. Bastard.

"There was nothing but paperwork to be done, so we spent quite a lot of time at our desks." She picked anxiously at her nails as she sat beside him. "I know, it is a _horrible _habit, but I can't help it. You know if you woke up I might stop." She rolled her eyes at how desperate that sounded.

"Anyways, McGee spent most of the day asking about you. How you were, what your condition was, how many girls you'd unconsciously hit on—which I told him was three, by the way. I know you have a reputation to protect. I kept reminding him that he was welcome to come and visit you, and do you know what he told me? He said 'there's no point in visiting until you can carry a conversation' and 'besides, he can get more work done with the office so quiet.' Can you believe him?" She scoffed. "Really, I think you scare him, Tony. He is worried about you but he does not want to say it." Then her eyes widened at this admission. "You mustn't tell anyone I told you." She mumbled through her nails, "But who are you going to tell?"

Her heart fluttered, thinking of the answer. "Tony," she swallowed, "I..." She couldn't think. There were too many thoughts running around the cold, white room. She couldn't find a single thought to pluck from the air.

It was too dark in here. She suddenly launched herself from the chair to the window and threw open the curtains. It was still dark outside, but moonlight illuminated the machinery strapped to her partner's chest. She closed the curtains.

She spoke quietly, unable to face him. "I have nothing else to tell you today." She swallowed thickly before cutting across the room to his bed in two steps. "I will see you tomorrow."

She had grabbed her bag and was out the door before she could finish her sentence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three! Oh Ziva, your struggle (and love) is real.**

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As she stepped through the doorway the next day, her heart stopped. She couldn't place it but suddenly the sight of him made her pause and she couldn't explain it – or wouldn't dare explain it. Clearing her throat, she pushed through her doubt to take her usual place beside him.

"I'm not really sure why I came today. Nothing has changed: not with you. But the doctor insists that talking to you will help." She chuckled. "If you're not talking, then you need someone to talk for you." She frowned. "To you."

God, he looked so pale and small, like he was shrinking into the white sheets, falling into nothing. She couldn't think about that right now. She cleared her throat. "Actually, we did pick up a new case this morning. You would love it." She leaned forward, her elbows in the white sheets, and her heart felt lighter.

"A Naval Doctor was found hanging upside down just inside the woods. He had been gutted open with all of his insides removed." She snorted. "You would have made some movie reference that was totally inappropriate and Gibbs would have slapped you upside the head while Ducky continued his horrendously boring tales of the time when he was a boy and he found a dead squirrel in the woods that looked just like these woods." She couldn't keep the grin off her face. "Anyways…"

"It wasn't him, it was the Donkey!" Her snorting laughter drowned out the heart monitor for just a moment as she fell forward against his sheets, blushing furiously at his lack of response when it came to her joke-telling. She cleared her throat. "It sounds much better in Hebrew."

"I think that's the first time I've seen you smile."

Ziva jumped at the sudden voice in the room, turning to stare at the nurse in the doorway. She was short and petite, blonde and pretty with a sweet smile plastered on her face.

"I'm sorry to intrude." She shrugged shyly. "It's just that this is the first time I've seen you smile in the two weeks you've been coming here. It's nice."

Ziva immediately ducked her head, staring at Tony for protection; he only offered silence. "I haven't had much to smile about, lately."

Without really asking for permission, the nurse stepped over the threshold and walked straight for the clipboard hanging on the end of Tony's bed. "Oh, I don't think so," she observed with that same smile. "Your boyfriend is recovering, he hasn't gotten worse. That's definitely something to smile about."

Was Ziva blushing? Ziva David did _not_ blush. "He is not my boyfriend."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Your husband, then."

_Just keep staring at Tony, Ziva, eventually he'll wake up and tease you mercilessly about yet another person who thinks you're an item._ "Actually we're just co-workers." Her voice was very gentle and it startled her a bit. "Of course I care for him. He is my friend." Unconsciously, she reached out to run her hand through his oily, unwashed hair. "My best friend."

The nurse continued her work as she spoke, ignoring—or not acknowledging—the moment between the two partners. "Well, I'm just glad that Mr. DiNozzo has someone to care for him. Not everyone at the hospital has someone."

Ziva smiled, finally drawing her eyes away to meet the woman's. "Please, I know he would insist that you call him 'Tony'; a pretty girl like you?"

The woman blushed lightly and her smile shone a little brighter. "Call me Jaqueline." She hesitated for a moment. "I can always come back later, if you want."

"No, no, please." Ziva reached for her coat. "I should get going, anyways." She stood tall to look at the woman seriously. "Just promise that you'll take care of him."

"I promise." Jaqueline smiled, her eyes understanding the sincerity of her request.

Finally, Ziva looked down at Tony and her heart stopped. Acting on impulse, she stroked his cheek and smiled sadly. "Behave yourself, while I'm gone." She clenched her jaw to keep from showing just how much it hurt that he didn't respond before she turned towards the door and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four! And the agony continues in short bursts of anguish. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. Thank you so much for your kind comments.**

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It was such a simple image, a woman eating lunch with a man.

Except it was Ziva and Tony.

And the room was quiet.

And Ziva was the only one of them eating lunch.

And Tony was barely breathing.

The sunshine outside was beautiful. Neither of them was enjoying it.

But still the image played out. Ziva had her lunchbox at her feet—she'd taken to packing her lunch most days so she wouldn't waste time buying it on her way to see him—with her lunch of fruit and cheese splayed out on Tony's bed as if were a table. It wasn't much of a lunch, but she didn't have long, anyways. She'd lost a bit of her appetite lately, too sick with worry to care about much else.

She picked a grape from her container and put it to her lips.

"After three weeks of investigation, we are nearly finished solving the Naval Doctor Murder," she announced. "It seems that the doctor was covering up for one of her students who was caught experimenting on cadavers. Horrible things. We're going to interview him tomorrow."

She paused, the grape still pressed to her lips as her face fell. "Well, _I_ am going to interview the student tomorrow. Normally you would come with me, but…" She swallowed hard, hoping to dispel the sadness caught in her throat, but she choked and instead took a deep, sorrowful breath.

_One month._ Her jaw worked through the anger and frustration building up in her chest, replacing the self-pity and selfless worry. She caught herself clenching her fist too tightly and slowly relaxed the muscles in her fingers. She watched each digit uncurl until she could feel the tension flow from her fingertips. _Get a grip_, _Ziva_.

She shook her head.

"I watched a movie on television the other day." She placed another grape on her lips and chewed carefully. _"Casablanca."_ A sad smile graced her lips as the memory resurfaced: imagining him sitting next to her as she curled up on the couch, unspoken desires refusing to let her rest. "It made me think of you," she confessed. "Not any particular character, just…you. What it would be like to watch the movie with you. I know you would make some stupid comment to ruin the entire movie." She chuckled as she threw a grape at his head, as if making a pre-emptive strike against him and his wit.

But as she watched the grape bounce off his forehead and roll across the floor, the room fell silent with the weight of all the grape was rolling away with. Every shared moment across their desks, every exchange of shameless banter, every missed moment…

She ducked her head, staring down at her lunch bag, praying it would provide some answers for her.

"Abby is very worried about you." Her voice was quiet, but it carried and echoed to all corners of the room. "I told her not to but I know she is. I know you will make a full recovery. There is no need to be so worried. I don't think she can help it."

She stared at him for longer than she would ever admit. The colour had completely gone from his face and hands and there were dark circles like bruises under his eyes. Her eyes trailed over his exposed chest, wrapped tightly in gauze that she noted would need to be changed soon. The skin of his hands were so dry and cracked she worried they might break apart if she held too tight, but she squeezed his fingers anyways, blindly hoping for a response. When none came, she closed her eyes and imagined for a moment they were anywhere but here, in any situation but this horrible nightmare.

In that moment everything was still, everything was calm. There was no incessant beeping, no cold fingers, no white walls. Of course, it was merely a dream, but the hope was still there. That hope opened her eyes. Back to the white walls and cold fingers and beeping so loud she was drowning in it. Back to Tony.

"My lunch break will be over soon." She cleared her throat when the words came out roughly. "I need to go." Lord, but she didn't want to leave him. Not now.

With precise movements, she packed her lunch back into her bag, careful to avoid touching him. When everything was in its place she rose, taking one last, long look at her partner still sleeping.

"I will see you tomorrow, Tony." She bent at the waist to place her lips to his forehead, ignoring the cold, clammy feel of his flesh against hers. Before she could talk herself out of it, she rushed out the door, bringing the beeping with her and leaving the room in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this.**

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Movie night was sacred to Tony; Ziva knew that. She also knew that just because he couldn't do it himself didn't mean she wouldn't do it for him. That's what partners were for. So there she sat, beside Tony, flipping through the channels on the old TV hanging in view of his bed. It seemed there was nothing good on tonight but that wouldn't deter her. She already had the popcorn and soft drink sitting on his tray, waiting to be consumed. All she needed was a sign. Or a decent station. While she channel surfed, she continued her story.

"We finally arrested the med student. He was convinced his professor was going to turn him in to the authorities for the things he had done. He did not want to lose his career, and so he made an example of her. Some people can be so obsessed with their work." She smirked without looking at him, convinced she could hear his voice in her head at all times, now. "And no, that was not a comment on my own life." She gave up on finding a good station and settled on a true crime series, featuring the famous 'Angel of Death' serial killer. She wasn't really paying attention, but it seemed that death was a good way to keep her mind off of…other things. Hoping to distract herself, she reached for the can of Dr. Pepper resting between them and took a sip, wiggling her body downwards she fit into Tony's side as they both looked forward.

"I am sorry I did not visit yesterday," she confessed; her voice quite but firm. She was getting better at keeping herself casual yet professional when she spoke to him. "I have been so overwhelmed with paperwork that I have barely been able to go home before nine o'clock. It seems one of my teammates is not pulling his weight." She made a motion to elbow him but was careful not to touch him too harshly.

"As usual." She took another sip as Jaqueline entered with a kind smile.

"Hello, Ziva." That woman could brighten any man's day with just that smile but apparently her charms were lost on Tony. "How is he doing today?"

If it were anyone else—present company excluded—she would have waved off a sarcastic remark about a nurse asking a visitor a question they were more qualified to answer. But in the weeks that she'd come to know Jaqueline, she'd calmed somewhat and so smiled lightly. "He is unchanged." Out of the corner of her eye she watched the nurse check Tony's chart and nod with each page flip as though it were exactly what she expected to see.

"Well the good news is he's not getting worse. That's always a positive sign."

Doing her best a keep a neutral face, Ziva looked back at the television, completely lost as to the plot of the story. "I am glad."

She felt Jaqueline's eyes on her as she tried to focus but it was becoming increasingly difficult. She finally gave up the charade and looked at the nurse expectantly. "I'm sorry, I can come back later."

"No, please." Ziva offered her best smile. "Stay. I know Tony won't mind if you're in here with us." Had she just said _us_? As in… no, she wouldn't think on that. Even though Jaqueline was giving her a knowing smile that did nothing but unnerve her.

Instead of teasing her, as Ziva had expected, the nurse's smile become soft and almost scolding. "You know, technically, you're not allowed to be sitting on the bed with the patient."

For the first time in what felt like forever, Ziva looked at Tony and her eyes spoke nothing but sad affection. "Tony does not mind that, either."

She continued to stare at Tony, tracing his features with her eyes, a sweet, sad smile on her lips. The things that man brought out in her.

"Ziva, may I ask you a question?"

The sudden invasion of another voice startled her until she looked up and saw only apprehension and kindness. "Of course."

"Were you lying before?"

"About what?"

"When you said that you and Tony were only coworkers; were you lying?"

Ziva smiled at the nurse. Poor, naïve Jaqueline. "He is also my friend."

"A friend wouldn't come to visit a coma patient _every day_. There has to be something more between you."

"You are wrong." With a calmness that even surprised herself, Ziva picked up the soda can and brought it to her lips, focusing all her attention on the screen, pretending that she knew exactly what was happened and exactly where this story was going. "I did not come to visit yesterday."


	6. Chapter 6

**Part the Sixth. You guys are awesome!**

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When the next movie night rolled around Ziva was once again sitting beside Tony with a bag of popcorn and two cans of soda—one for her and one for Nurse Jaqueline, should she visit tonight—but this time she made sure to check the television guide online for a good film.

_The Public Enemy_. She smiled. Tony loved his black and white movies. As she sipped her soda, watching a ridiculously drawn-out death scene, she spoke, her voice gentle and intimate. "Gibbs has told me to tell you to 'get your ass out of bed and come to work before he fires you.' I do not think he would fire you, though."

She stared at the screen in contemplation. "I think it is his way of showing that he cares. He is very angry. He misses you. _Everyone _misses you, Tony. Everyone cares for you." She ducked her head; afraid James Cagney would see her moment of weakness and call her out on it. "And none more than I."

While the movie continued to play she spoke through the silence between them. "I miss my partner very much. I am very lonely without him." Her head shot up. "Not that I could not find companionship. In fact, I was asked out on a date today." She spoke quite proudly despite the scene replaying in her mind. Their witness had asked to get coffee and "discuss his statement". His leer and casual stare at her chest told her all she needed to know, but still, she was sorely tempted—if only to have one night where she wasn't in a hospital, listening to never-changing heart monitors. But then the beeping flowed through her skull like a CD on repeat and she smiled politely and told him to never speak to her unless it was directly pertaining to their case.

"You are much better company." She decided – though she wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure. "Much better."


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it. Welcome new followers. You are all wonderful.**

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Ziva bolted awake as a gentle hand and the tempting smell of coffee roused her from her sleep. She found herself lying across Tony's bed, her head resting in the empty space, her hand clasped in his. She must have fallen asleep. Groggily, she looked around until her nose was underneath a steaming cup of hospital coffee—she'd tasted worse—and she took it from Jaqueline gratefully.

"Jaqueline." She took a sip and let the steaming liquid burn her throat gratefully. "I thought you weren't working the day shift today."

"I'm not." The nurse smiled gently, busying herself by checking and rechecking Tony's vitals. Ziva instantly saw the guilty look on her face. "I mean I didn't. I just started my shift. Visiting hours ended about two hours ago." Ziva stood up so quickly that she nearly spilt her coffee but Jaqueline put her hand out to steady her. "Don't worry." She placed her hands on the woman's shoulders. "No one is going to make you leave him." Ziva saw that same flash of guilt in her eyes before the nurse lowered her arms. "You can spend as much time with him as you like."

Now she knew something was wrong. "Jaqueline?"

The nurse refused to meet her eyes.

"Look at me." Her tone might have been a bit too harsh but she'd suddenly woken up to find herself in a world that was significantly dimmer with the loss of the nurse's bright smile. In the months that she'd been visiting Tony, Jaqueline always had a smile on her face regardless of the time or situation. More than anything, it was The lack of her smile that worried her.

"It's not my place to tell you."

Like that was going to deter Ziva from finding the truth. "Please tell me?"

There was only a moment of breath before Jaqueline sighed and looked her in the eye. "I overheard the doctors discussing Tony's condition when I came in. He hasn't improved in the two months that he's been here and…" she winced, sensing the outburst that she was about to witness from the ever calm and collected Special Agent. "They're considering moving him to a long-term care facility upstate."

The words came out in such a rush that Ziva barely had time to process them. Move Tony? Take him away from her? She wouldn't allow it. Her face was turning red, she could feel it, her fists clenching with each passing moment.

Jaqueline held her hands out in a frail attempt to calm her. "But they can't do anything until they speak to the next of kin."

Oddly enough that calmed her. For once, Tony's lack of parental supervision was working in her favour. "His father is out of the country and out of contact." She spoke coolly, holding her breath until she could dispel the last of her anger. "He has no one else."

"He has you."

_Oh, wrong choice of words, Nurse Jackie._ Ziva's fingers curled and uncurled over and over again.

"I cannot speak on his behalf."

"I think you should be allowed to speak for Tony."

Her head was swirling with implications and the complications and the sheer terror that suddenly filled her. Tony would be moved where she couldn't see him all the time. She _had_ to find his father. She'd been trying for two months to get a hold of him and she honestly didn't know where in the world he was, but he was the only one who could stop the doctors from moving Tony away from her. If he woke up, she was going to force him to make her…

Her eyes widened. Oh god, she'd thought _if_. As in _might not_. As though she were accepting his fate when in fact she was not. Not in the slightest. There was no way in hell she was going to let Tony leave her, in any way. If he was going to be stubborn and refuse to wake up, then she would refuse to give up on him.

_But what if he gives up on you_? There was that damn voice, whispering in her ear, a reminder of what she'd been trying to avoid all these months: Tony might not wake up.

"Like I said, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"I have to go." Ziva faced Jaqueline and pushed the coffee cup back into the nurse's hands, barely thinking about anything, let alone feeling the hot drink slosh onto her skin. She stormed towards the exit—she had to get out—but paused in the doorway, her last bit of sense making her turn around and curtly nod to the nurse. "Thank you, Jaqueline. For everything."

She needed to go; she needed to think.

Ziva was so caught up in her thoughts, consumed by the plague of Tony's possible departure that she didn't hear an emergency bell go off in Tony's room nor did she notice the parade of doctors and nurses rushing in to care for him. The elevator doors closed and she was in silence.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight. I feel cruel for putting you through this. But only a little bit.**

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She was stopped at the door by an older man with scrubs and a surgical mask hanging from around his neck. Ziva's heart dropped and she felt sick—really sick. She had practically run here from her apartment, not trusting herself to sit still long enough to make the drive. Now there was someone trying to _stop_ her from seeing Tony? No way.

"I'm sorry, Miss, who are you?"

She stepped back to really look at the doctor. She didn't recognize him but honestly she didn't pay much attention to the comings and goings in the hospital except for the few doctors and nurses she had gotten to know. Still, she thought everyone on the floor knew who she was. "Special Agent Ziva David, NCIS, you need to tell me what's going on."

The man straightened at her authoritative voice and she praised herself for not letting her voice crack.

"The wound in the patient's chest has become infected with a common virus. We've isolated it and administered the appropriate medication, but the patient seems to be rejecting the antibodies."

She was only half listening, staring at Tony and the extra equipment that seemed to shrink the size of his room. "I have to see him." She announced but again, the good doctor stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. He _really_ wanted to lose his arm.

"I'm afraid you can't, Agent David. No one except for medical staff is allowed in the room until further notice. We can't risk the patient becoming worse."

"His name is Tony." She was _this_ _close_ to twisting the Doctor's arm clean off just to get to her partner when she felt another hand on her shoulder. She saw red.

"Ziva." Jaqueline's soothing voiced entered the red and black and instantly stepped away from the doctor.

In a different state of mind she might have laughed at his panicked expression. _Good_, she thought_, he should be scared. _Still, she bowed her head and apologized to the doctor and in a rare moment of surrender, allowed herself to be led away from Tony's room.

_But, no! _

She wanted to go back and make sure Tony really was all right.

She was in the cafeteria before she could realize what was happening.

More hospital coffee. More noise in the background. More beeping in her ears, this time more frantic. It never stopped.

Finally seated at a far table, coffee cup in hand, Jaqueline explained in a calm voice that must have come from years of training, years of giving people the worst news possible.

"Tony's heart rate spiked last night, right after you left. His fever came on too quickly for us to handle—like it was out of nowhere. The wound on his chest has become infected, as the doctor told you, but…" She bit her lip, desperate not to have to finish her story but one look from Ziva told her she _needed_ to tell her. "It's spreading towards his heart. Slowly. But it will…stop his heart…if he doesn't accept the medication we've given him." Ziva jumped when Jaqueline reached out her free hand to grasp her fingers. "I can't explain it, Ziva. It's like he's refusing to get better."

Ziva tried so hard to control the emotions playing across her face, but it wasn't working. All she could hear was the beeping as it sped up and the words _stop his heart_ over and over again. _Oh god, oh god._ A quick squeeze of her hand dropped her back into the present. "At least that means the doctors won't be moving him upstate—it's not safe to—so you can keep seeing him. Not right now, but…" There was that hopeful smile, Ziva had come to need. "You will see him again, Ziva. Have faith."

For the first time in days, Ziva David smiled. Not a strong smile or a big smile. But a smile, weak and small, the best she could muster given the weariness seeping into her skin. She was getting tired.

In a rare moment of peace that afternoon, Ziva stood in the doorway of Tony's room. It was the closest anyone would let her get to him, so it would have to be enough. It wasn't, but for now, it would do. With her eyes fixed to the frame of the door, she spoke with a hushed, desperate tone only Tony could hear.

"Tony, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to stop being a stubborn jack ass and wake up. You need to get well. You need to let someone help you for a change. I know that I am not the best person to be telling you such things, but I am and I need you…I need you to get better. I don't know what else to do." The rest of her prayer was made in silence but she knew he heard her. He _had_ to. Please let him hear her.

"I will see you tomorrow, Tony." That was a promise to both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine! We're atually getting close to the end. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far; it means so much to me (especially the rambling ones). You guys are so awesome.**

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Ziva looked up as Jaqueline passed her in the hallway, she had been half-reading her book for the past two hours, mostly glancing down the hallway and into Tony's room to make sure everyone was where they should be. Ziva had caught the nurse's eye several times over the last hour, but this time, she stopped.

"What are you reading—or _pretending_ to read?" Ziva smirked as she held the cover up for her friend to inspect. "_Silence of the Lambs;_ not a very happy tale."

"I know Tony would like it." The agent decided as she turned back to her book, still barely reading it. Especially when Jaqueline was wearing such a sly grin.

"What else do you know?"

At that, Ziva's face broke into a genuine grin, one that lightened her face from the months of agony. "I know that he's accepting the medicine. He's not out of the forest yet, but he is well on his way to recovery." He had answered her prayers.

Jaqueline smiled sweetly. "Actually the phrase is…" But she thought better of it and nodded instead. "Yeah, he's getting better."

"He will recover quickly." Ziva decided.

"You sound confident about that."

Ziva hummed in response.

"Why?"

Without missing a beat, Ziva David looked at the nurse with a tired conviction she'd never seen before. "Tony would never leave me."

The nurse and the agent held gazes for a minute before Jaqueline bowed her head. "Then I will leave you to continue guarding Tony's door."

Ziva called out as the nurse walked away. "I'm not…" but she changed her mind—she really _was_. "Jaqueline."

The woman turned around.

"Thank you. For being so good to Tony these past several months."

The woman produced a face-splitting, infectious grin that warmed Ziva's heart. "Yeah well, he's very easy to talk to. You should try it sometime."

At that, Ziva stood from her chair and left her post, approaching the nurse with ferocious speed, feral and cautious. "I have been talking to Tony all this time and I've gotten no response."

"You haven't really been talking to him about the important things, have you?"

Ziva opened her mouth but found no words. What was she talking about?

"I know Tony can hear you. Maybe if you say something worth waking up for, he will."


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten. There's only one chapter left. **

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The steady beeping from around the room filled her ears, keeping her headache on a steady pulse in the background. Not that she could focus, anyway. The steady beeping was a part of her now, like a second skin, inescapable. But in the darkness, against the pale walls of the hospital, the sound was still deafening and she could hear nothing else. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

She gripped his fingers tighter, hyper-aware of the cold flesh between her palms. The unmoving muscles that she had waited to see come to life, but never did. Even as she ran her thumb over the back of his hand, she received no response. His skin was so dry. She'd forgotten to bring the hand cream. It had been so long since she'd been allowed to touch him that the moment the doctor called, she'd thought of nothing else but him. Seeing him, touching him; being with him.

She tried to take a steadying breath but it came in raggedly, filling her belly again and again, making her more and more light-headed. She had to focus; focus on something—anything. On him. There was only one sound. The steady beeping was a constant reminder of the man lying before her, pale and unmoving.

She wanted to speak—she'd spent so long trying to find the words and they'd completely left her mind—but her throat was empty and dry. But as she closed her eyes and pushed words to the surface they became strong and sure. Quiet strength against the steady beeping of the hospital walls.

"I have been trying to find the words. And I cannot find them. Tony, I am very angry with you. How could you have been so…foolish? If you had been injured at work, I could forgive you, but to get into a car accident on your way home? It is unforgivable. How could you do this to me? You have always been there for me. Always. And if you were gone? I could not bear it. You must wake up, Tony. Please. For me. I cannot live without you. And it has taken me this long to gather the courage to say it. You can be a stubborn, self-centered jackass but… I love you. God help me, but I love you. And I need you to be okay. Can you do that for me, Tony? Please?

"This is the last time I will speak to you. I cannot keep coming back to this place. It is too painful. Please call me when you are ready to come home. And I will come and get you." With a strength of will she never had, she stood on shaky legs and stared down at him. Sweetly, she placed a lingering kiss on his cheek; incentive to wake up and come back to her. With one last look at the man she loved lying on the bed Ziva David walked away whispering "goodbye" under her breath.


	11. Chapter 11

**Alright. This is the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who followed and favourited and reviewed, it means so much to me. **

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She slapped her hands on the reception desk, her breathing ragged and heavy. She'd run faster up those stairs than she thought she ever had before. And it didn't help that she wasn't breathing the whole way. Ziva will admit that she got a little thrill out of frightening the nurse behind the desk—it might have helped smooth things along that she looked crazed and no-nonsense.

"You called me regarding Anthony DiNozzo, what is it about?"

The poor woman stammered under the Israeli's stern gaze. "I-I, sorry ma'am. Wha-?"

"Tony DiNozzo. He's one of your patients. Tell me why you called. Now."

The panicked nurse had her finger poised to phone security in fear for her life when a hand on Ziva's shoulder calmed the entire situation.

"Ziva?" Jaqueline gave her a surprised smile. "What are you doing here? I thought—"

"Someone at the hospital phoned the office and said that I needed to come down right away. They said they had news about Tony."

The panicked look in Ziva's eyes softened the nurse's entire expression. "Ziva, I thought you knew. Tony isn't here anymore."

The news she'd been dreading for nearly five months stopped her heart and turned her as pale as the white walls that were closing in on her. The beeping in her skull was loud and erratic now. And uncontrollable white noise.

"Oh no." The nurse put a hand out to calm the horrible dread in her friend's eyes. "No. He's been moved to another floor." Pause for dramatic effect—apparently; why couldn't this woman just tell her the news? "Ziva, he's awake."

Jaqueline caught the Special Agent when her knees gave way beneath her and she gripped the edge of the counter for whatever support she could find. Ziva, for her part, was near hyperventilating for the ecstatic beating of her heart. Had she heard right? Her ears must have fooled her just like the rest of her senses had over the last few months, feeling pieces of Tony everywhere she went.

It took her a moment to realize that the beeping had stopped. In a single breath, the numbing background noise of her life shattered into a million pieces and fell away leaving nothing but silence. A glorious moment of clarity—the first in five months.

He was awake. He was alright.

"Grab her a glass of water." She heard Jaqueline call to the traumatized nurse behind the counter.

Ziva held her hand up and croaked out, "No. I just want to see him."

After a moment of hesitation, Nurse Jaqueline broke into a face-splitting grin, brightening the room with the first real sign of hope in months. "I will take you there myself."

Ziva didn't stop running until she caught herself in the door frame of his new room. She stood there for an entire minute just looking at him—the aliveness of him. Staring into shining, tired blue eyes that were _finally_ staring back at her. Oh god, how she'd missed those eyes. He was still pale, and thin and…weak…but he was there. And he was staring at her with that insufferable smirk on his gorgeous, _awake_, face.

"Hi."

She almost collapsed again with the relief at hearing his dry, quiet voice. "Hi." She barely managed to squeak out the word. _Move, Ziva, move!_ She commanded her feet to fly to him and she was at his bed before she could finish the command. "You slept in."

"I know. I was kinda tired. Thought I'd get some sleep and then some."

She ran a hand through his hair, never letting her eyes leave his for fear they'd close again. "Well, you're awake now, so…" What now?

"So." Now what?

"That is very good." She decided quietly. It was no less true, but it just wasn't enough. Why couldn't she say more?

Tony smirked and let himself enjoy the rare moment of intimacy between them. "Gee, Ziva, you almost sound concerned for me." His eyes flew open when Ziva stood so suddenly, she nearly knocked over his glass of ice chips.

"Concerned? How can you even say that? You have been in a coma for five months. No one knew if you were going to make it or what was going to happen. How can you—"

He grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her down so swiftly, she had to catch herself on his pillow. His lips found hers immediately in a long, slow kiss; his lips chapped, her cheeks wet with unacknowledged tears. He brought his hand to her back, pulling her as close as possible, feeling every part of her with one caress of his lips. When they parted, it was only a breath apart as he brushed their noses and whispered, "I love you too."

Ziva was dizzy from the kiss, lost in a moment of _oh god, please let this be real this time,_ and it took her a moment to let his words sink in. She pulled back even further, though unwilling to let go of his touch completely. "You heard me?" She slapped his chest but immediately brought a hand up to soothe the pain away. "I'm sorry." She kissed his wound. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, I'm injured here." At her panicked eyes he winced. _Too soon._

"I know."

The look in her eyes spoke volumes. She knew all too well.

"I also know that you kept me company all these months. Thank you."

She was still hovering over him but they only had eyes for each other. "You really heard me the whole time?"

"I can assure you, Agent David, I always hear you."

"You just do not always listen."

"Well, what'd be the fun in that?"

She clicked her tongue, trying to keep the smile from her eyes. "You are so insufferable."

"Actually, the phrase you used was 'self-centered jackass'."

"And stubborn."

"Of course."

She kissed him again, sweet and slow, giving him all the love she could muster from her position, all the pent up frustration from months of uncertainty, all the intensity of her relief at seeing him alive and well.

"Never do that to me again," She warned, resting her forehead against his.

"I will do my very best."

She rewarded him with a kiss for his honest answer and she whispered as their lips touched, "Good."


End file.
